On turning 40--twice!

Yes, I'm 80. “Vierzig zweimal”, and I'm thankful since I now have the longevity record on my side of the family. Who wants to be 80—people 79. I've had a wonderful life with the same wife and children I have always been blessed with. I'm a diabetic with arthritis and Graves disease but I'm in better physical shape than Stephen Hawking even with my much lower IQ. I can remember my first Thanksgiving in 1944 with servicemen around the table asking for “more toikey”. I've finished my bucket list seeing the world from the Pantheon to the Parthenon. There's a long list of things I don't need anymore: new car brochures, centerfolds, commuting (a pain in the asphalt), three martini lunches and neckties. I don't read the sports section anymore because I've seen Gordie Howe, Ted Williams and Willie Mays in their prime so who cares about overpaid nonentities on wannabe teams. The Neptune Society keeps bugging me but I've put them on the back burner. People are going to say nice things about me at my funeral but I'm probably going to miss it by a few days. A song by Zero 7 sums it up: “Just one step closer to the end of the buffet, 'cause we're waiting to die...and yes it's true, death is everyone's fate, but we've made it this far so let's celebrate”. Pass the toikey and don't forget the gravy. PS This picture was taken in Vladivostock 20 years ago so I'm not as young as I look.