As if you didn’t already know about the wedding of the century between Prince William and Catherine Middleton. They are now heirs-in-waiting and given a steady diet of Malvern Water and constant attention they should be ready to ascend the throne in, oh, about thirty years. Until then, you shall see them dressed smartly in every magazine and reality show on earth. So far they have even had a pizza done with their likeness as a topping. Top that Donald Trump (the T is silent). They have now performed (in Phillip Larkin’s wry phrase) “their tabloid fertility rites”.
I love the new titles: Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and the unbeatable new monikers Baron and Baroness Carrickfergus. As for us, The King of Queens is not listed in Burke’s Peerage and The Dukes of Hazzard were only a television dynasty, but we do have one person who outranks anyone produced by England: Duke Ellington.
Actually, I know a couple in San Francisco named Bill and Kate. They live a sane middle class life with their two sons and don’t have to worry a fig about the oppressive and omnipresent paparazzi. Human lives don’t really need 24/7 press coverage unless that’s what the great unwashed demands of them, until the day they die, and then it really heats up. (Pace Princess Diana).
Orwell said the English were just one big family, with the wrong people in charge. Hopefully, he is wrong about this couple. I won’t be around to see it. We still have to deal with Bonnie Prince Charlie and Dowdy Old Camilla
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