Hockey nonsense

“I went to the Fights and a hockey game broke out”, quipped Rodney Dangerfield.
Funny? Yes it is. What isn’t funny are the deaths this year of three pro hockey
players and one amateur . Each one was a personal tragedy and had different circumstances but the unifying factor was that all three of the pros were “enforcers”, usually the biggest guy on the team that protects the smaller players. Outrage at these recent deaths was sufficient to produce letters of protest from people who blame fighting on the ice for everything. There was condemnation from a guy from the soccer hall of fame. Why not something from the synchronized swimming association, especially since the water in rinks is frozen. Some guy wanted a bigger international-size rink. We aren’t Sweden. One guy suggested that if a fight broke out we all stand up and turn our backs to the players. Maybe he means to moon them.
I played hockey from 14 to 18 and I was, I guess, an enforcer. I had to be since I was so slow and couldn’t dipsy doodle on scoring plays. I always made the team. You know what, those fights were actually fun and I couldn’t really hurt the other guy. Although one very tough hombre once loosened all my teeth. That’s why my favorite Christmas song is: “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”. Look, fighting is just part of the game folks. They’re spontaneous and usually do not contain any malice aforethought. If you run into someone who holds strong opinions on hockey, ask him if he or she has ever played the game, do they know how to skate, have they ever seen a game, ever follow a team, know where the Flames and the Thrashers went (even Ken Jennings won’t know that). So if that person comes up empty, you’ll know that you are talking to someone Don Rickles would call “a hockey puck”.