New national symbol to replace American Eagle

Both houses of Congress as well as Fox News and MSNBC agree: our new symbol is the Carp. Yes, it's a large Asian fish who lives in sluggish waters and is often raised for food. But the real meaning is more political. To carp means to find fault and complain. Some Tea party people wanted the mastodon or sabre tooth tiger but it was pointed out that they had died just before Republicans were created. Speaking of outspoken creatures, there is now a comic strip named Mallard Fillmore, a right wing duck who carps about Obama and Hillary. After the funny and witty Donald and Daffy, this is a lame duck indeed. And a quack. This started with W in Texas with his inane figures of speech and his lethal call to arms. It has continued with the tongue-tied Governor Rick Perry and the blithering neophyte senator Ted Cruz. Their limitations are boundless. What's with Texas anyway? It reminds me of my favorite doctor joke. A doctor tells a colleague his patient has had a stroke, slurs all his words and nothing he says makes any sense. “Well,” the other doctor says, “he can always move to Texas”. At least we now have a President who is a real orator, maybe not Lincoln, but Lincolnesque. Do I carp? Probably. Long ago Mort Sahl said that a politician's safest statement was, “The future lies ahead”. Oh yeah? Who says?