On turning 40--twice!

Yes, I'm 80. “Vierzig zweimal”, and I'm thankful since I now have the longevity record on my side of the family. Who wants to be 80—people 79. I've had a wonderful life with the same wife and children I have always been blessed with. I'm a diabetic with arthritis and Graves disease but I'm in better physical shape than Stephen Hawking even with my much lower IQ. I can remember my first Thanksgiving in 1944 with servicemen around the table asking for “more toikey”. I've finished my bucket list seeing the world from the Pantheon to the Parthenon. There's a long list of things I don't need anymore: new car brochures, centerfolds, commuting (a pain in the asphalt), three martini lunches and neckties. I don't read the sports section anymore because I've seen Gordie Howe, Ted Williams and Willie Mays in their prime so who cares about overpaid nonentities on wannabe teams. The Neptune Society keeps bugging me but I've put them on the back burner. People are going to say nice things about me at my funeral but I'm probably going to miss it by a few days. A song by Zero 7 sums it up: “Just one step closer to the end of the buffet, 'cause we're waiting to die...and yes it's true, death is everyone's fate, but we've made it this far so let's celebrate”. Pass the toikey and don't forget the gravy. PS This picture was taken in Vladivostock 20 years ago so I'm not as young as I look.

Slouching towards Roseburg

I know Roseburg Oregon. I've been there many times. My wife's family farmed there for over 100 years. It's a beautiful, peaceful, friendly place. But a week ago the madness of the gun culture found it and murdered nine innocent people and injured many more. The picture of a woman weeping wearing a Walmart T-shrt that says “Live better” is more than ironic. President Obama was there to commiserate with the families who lost loved ones. That's all he can do and even that brought out the gun nuts who told him he wasn't wanted. That's where we are now in our ungovernable country. Nobody can do anything to stop the violence. You saw the Republican debate of 10 muddled oafs (and one charmless oafess) babble on in their self-importance. Scott Walker, the college dropout whose foreign policy is “beat Ohio State”. Perhaps a singer could set the tone with the Sam Cooke song: “Don't know much about geography, or history, or sociology or economics”. Keynes said that the American contingent that came to Europe after WWI only came to preen and not offer any serious thoughts on keeping the peace and “then returned home to their Texas civilization”. We're too dumb to be governed,” Bill Maher said and we only have to look at ourselves...impatient and out of control..bombing hospitals in Iraq and then lying about it. The clairvoyant novelist Joseph Conrad saw the carnage that was coming. He said “unarmed goodwill is useless against armed malice”. We don't need more guns, we need better people.

Give me Liberty or give me Harrods

I'm paraphrasing Patrick Henry's rousing comment: “Give me Liberty or give me death” that inspired both Jefferson and Washington to revolution and dissolving the bonds with Britain. I got my inspiration from seeing our secretary of state, John Kerry alighting from his plane in London yesterday onto a mat that said: Harrods Aviation. We're good friends with England now so let's go shopping. First to Harrods and Liberty, two of the major stores as well as Selfridges, started by a man from Chicago. Of course Kerry had a serious agenda: on to Germany for discussions about the refugees and some meetings about Russian actions in Syria. In “1984” Orwell had demoted England to “Airstrip One”. I've spent a lot of time on Airstrip One including a day when I had breakfast in London, lunch in Zurich and dinner in Amsterdam (where I promptly got pneumonia. Of note are other revolutionary quotes updated: “These are the times that try men's wallets” Thomas Paine. “ I have not yet begun to shop” Mrs. John Paul Jones. “I've got the horse right here, his name is Paul Revere”..actually that's “Nicely Nicely Johnson, a gambler in Guys and Dolls. End of today's history lesson and let that be a lesson to you!

Do black lives really matter?

Of course they do and far beyond a momentary t-shirt slogan. Orwell stated his “hard truths”, mostly about religious nonsense and political lying. He was famously disinterested in America but his observations about English society seem relevant to ours. He knew that the middle class was politically passive and would rather come home, watch football and have a nice meal with the missus. Carrying banners (and wearing t-shirts) was for “Bolshies” and picketers. I'm sure Orwell would agree that the hard truths about America are unending racial injustice and gun violence. In in his fable Animal Farm, Orwell wrote, “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others”. Something that could be said about our Constitution. Meanwhile, the media pollutes the thought environment with every atrocity and carnage they can find with the banner screaming “Breaking News” which really should read “Heartbreaking News”. We see several bumptious young ladies wearing “Black Lives Matter” t-shirts forcing their way onto the stage and pushing Bernie Sanders aside, probably the one and only candidate who could do something for them (Better not try that with The Donald or you'll be out on your ear in no time). “Our patience will achieve more than our force”, said Edmund Burke (Google him) It's a truth universally acknowledged that American youth is not superbly educated but rather superbly agitated. If the young are going to act up they should adopt some realpolitik of practical realism and politics based on power so they could get some results. Here's an example: Ferguson is burning and the local kids are looting. Suppose instead, a group of young people went to protect the store from looters wearing t-shirts that said “Protect Ferguson”. It would go viral, and give the media something good to air. Who knows, displaying positive behaviour like that, even The Donald might say, “You're good kids, you're hired!”

What is the only English-speaking country to be defeated in battle and occupied?

The Confederate States of America! Yes, dear old Dixie holds that dubious distinction. Losers then, losers now and forever. Not something Donald Trump would like. 1066 and all that doesn't count because England wasn't a country yet and the official language for the next 200 years was French. I've spent time in the South. Good meals, terrible climate with some OK people and some not so OK. I saw a guy on TV waving a Confederate flag and yelling, “It's not racism it's heritage”.. of what, slavery, lynching, Jim Crow? We have the zombie young man holding his gun and Confederate flag and then going into a church and murdering 9 innocent black people because “someone has got to do it”. Take down the flag, burn it and join the Union properly. The fact that the party of Lincoln prevails throughout the South shows just what an upside down society it is. Mark Twain, born in the South, lest we forget, travelled to Dixie 15 years after Lee surrendered and was shocked to feel the resentment of the people and the complete lack of industry or progress. In the new Harper Lee novel even that paragon of southern decency, Atticus Finch, has succumbed to bitterness. General US Grant said the Confederacy was “the worst cause men ever fought for.” It still is.

Is John McCain a hero or not?

Donald Trump says he's not and I tend to agree with him, but not to badmouth McCain. He was a pilot who was in the wrong spot at the wrong time in the wrong war. He was shot down and captured. As a POW he suffered. I saw him behind home plate at a Diamondback game this weekend and he looks like a nice guy, a regular guy, out with his wife at a baseball game. My problem is with the word “hero”. America has the biggest, most over-bloated military in the world and the Pentagon likes it that way. But the use of words like hero and freedom has the smell of stale orthodoxy that Orwell warned about. So what we have is a citizen like The Donald speaking his mind and getting his taste of the “Two minutes of hate” found in 1984. Samuel Johnson said that patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel and the Republican field is certainly full of first rate scoundrels and third rate leaders. If you are in the lobby of my old club in NY, the Yale Club, you will see a statue of Nathan Hale, a 21 year old patiot who was executed by the British in the Revolutionary War. He said, “I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.” He was a hero.

How to celebrate Orwell's birthday today

George Orwell was born on this day in 1903. It was the start of the Edwardian age but Victorian values, especially imperialism, still held full sway. This was the first “ism” that Orwell challenged even though, as Eric Blair, he had the privilege of an upper middle class life and an Eton education. His novel “Burmese Days” and short story “Shooting an elephant” shows his disgust with the hypocrisy of English imperialism. He wrote in Notes on Nationalism “The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing of them”. He was suspicious of American right wing writers such as James Burnham who wrote approvingly that a Nazi victory in WWII was preferable to communism In his essay “Second Thoughts on James Burnham” he used the phrase to describe such books as a sop to “American wish thinking”. Remember that the Pentagon has 20,000 public relations people so it's wise to take government pronouncements with a grain of salt. In fact, you should probably review your assumptions often Beware the press releases that state that failure is not an option.They just promise more war.

Donald Trump for President--Right name, wrong guy.

There's never been a Donald in the White House and since that's my name, I'm rooting for “The Donald”. True, he's a bombastic blowhard with no political accomplishments or policies but that just puts him comfortably in with the other Republican candidates. One good thing-- he doesn't have to grovel at the feet of a Sheldon Adelson or the Koch Brothers for money. Take him at his word: he's rich. He may even play a part for the Democrats as a “useful idiot” in Lenin's quaint phrase. He's already starting to dismantle the other wanabes starting with Jeb Bush. He talks and thinks in soundbites ie: Bush has no edge, I'm the world's greatest job creator, when was the last time you saw a Chevrolet in China, I'll bomb ISIS into oblivion. Of course these are some of the thoughtful things you'll hear from high school dropouts. There is no “malice toward none” or “Four Freedoms” in his rich vocabulary. I only wish he'd let us call him Don or Donnie but he goes ballistic if you do. One thing the media hasn't grasped yet—the “T” in his last name is silent.

The Catholic Church is getting religion

Orwell wrote , “You cannot be a Catholic and a grownup”. He also observed that the Vatican was quite comfortable with the Fascist dictators of the 1930's including Franco, who Orwell was fighting on the front lines in the Spanish Civil War. But here comes Pope Francis who has placed the poor at the center of his papacy. He speaks of creating”a poor church for the poor”. It's a far cry from his predecessor Benedict, the Hitlerkinder from Germany. He is attempting to rehabilitate the Church, bringing it in line with the “liberation theology” that has long been denounced as Marxist. In the letters of Paul to the Church of Rome, he wrote: “Never be condescending but make a real friend of the poor”. But America is not the kind of place that produces a Mother Teresa or an Albert Schweitzer. In a Pew Research poll released on May 12 the so-called Nones (no religious affiliation) now outnumber Catholics 22.8% to 20.8%. We're a managerial society showing generosity and compassion through programs such as Food Stamps, Head Start and other government assistance. Cost-cutting Republicans are the only pro-hunger group. We have problems in our cities. Crime is rife and violence can explode out of nowhere. The recession is far from over. Workers of the world despair, you have nothing to lose but your livelihoods. A quote from a Joyce Carol Oates novel says: “If we are poor, must we be vicious?” Not if Pope Francis can carry the day. He'll be in Washington this September to remind us what Christianity is all about.

The cruelest joke you'll ever hear

A guy tells his friend he's afraid to fly because it's so dangerous. The friend says, “if your number comes up it comes up”. And the guy says, “yeah but what if the pilot's number comes up?” Why did the co-pilot of Germanwings kill himself and everyone on board? Hier ist keine warum. Here there is no why.

At last--Harper Lee is giving us another masterpiece

Fifty-five years after “To Kill A Mockingbird” Lee's second novel “Go set a watchman” is coming out in July. It's already No. 1 on the Amazon best seller list, sight unseen. It confirms something the English critic Cyril Connolly advised authors, “only write masterpieces” Easier said than done. Today it's all volume; the James Patterson-Nora Roberts machine is churning out volumes of junk that isn't as good as a single page of “Mockingbird”. I read that Lee's first novel was up for the National Book Award in 1960. It was won by a novel and an author I've never heard of which is why I detest awards of any kind. Citizen Kane didn't win an Oscar either and I'll bet you can't name the picture that beat it out. And don't get me started on the Nobel Prize for Literature. You get Wm. Golding instead of Orwell, Pearl Buck instead of Scott Fitzgerald, and mostly authors nobody has ever heard of or read. There is a cruel Euro-centric saying, “Who is the Zulu Shakespeare?” It's usually a guy who has just won the Nobel Prize. I was watching the film version of Fitzgerald's “The Last Tycoon”. There were no opening credits so I had to wait till the end to see what hack had done such a slow and turgid screenplay. It was Harold Pinter, director of the only play in London I've walked out on and, oh yeah, a Nobel Prize winner. That's the trouble with giving third parties the right to judge creative people. Woody Allen is right. If you give them the right to reward you then you've also given them the right to reject you.