It’s Oscar month on TCM so I watched Richard III, the one with Laurence Olivier, not the remake with Ian McKellen done in 1930’s fascist costume. That’s the one where I cheekily told the girl in the box office, “Gee Richard III, I must have missed the first two”. I know she didn’t have a clue what I was saying but then who would know anything about history 500 years ago, no matter how important it was.
There have been plenty of films about Henry VIII , a part played by Charles Laughton, Richard Burton, Robert Shaw and Eric Bana and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Jeff Bridges in the role. It’s a great way for actors to chew the scenery but how did this much-married ruffian get there? I got hold of a new book by Michael Hicks called “The Wars of the Roses”. Notice the plural, not the War of the Roses that everyone uses and was the title of a Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner black comedy.
The real wars were hardly comedy. There was more death and deceit in that era than The Sopranos and Law and Order put together. As one historian called them, “the most frenetic and purposeless battles in English history”
But who knows anything about them except for the famous lines Richard opens with in Shakespeare’s play, “Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer” to his exit line, “A horse, my kingdom for a horse”. Now you can be the first on your block to speak with authority on this, and see if anyone cares.
The Wars of the Roses were the end of the Middle Ages and the start of Modern Britain. This brings up the question of whether history is even important today. One of my most distressing encounters was with a young man who proudly told me that he just graduated from college with a major in History. So I said I’d give him an easy test on dates. I started with 1066, ”the Industrial Revolution” he said. Well, no, it was the Norman Conquest of England. I then said 1860 to 1864, ”the Industrial Revolution” he said quickly, well, yes, but more particularly the American Civil War. By now, he was getting annoyed. I tried 1914 to 1918 and he just shrugged his shoulders, 1939 to 1945, “nothing happened then” he said sulkily. He’s probably a tenured Professor by now in some Midwestern college teaching the History of The Tea Party.
At a cocktail party I said to someone, “What news on the Rialto?” and the hostess said, “What is that, some kind of New York saying?” Well, Al Pacino played Shylock so maybe it is.
Here are some facts in case there’s a snap quiz: Richard III was killed at The Battle of Bosworth in 1485. Henry Tudor became king and Henry VIII ascended the throne in 1509. This is not the guy Herman’s Hermits sang about in “I’m Henry the Eighth I am, I am”. They were usurpers. The term War of the Roses came from Sir Walter Scott in 1829.
As the great American historian Cole Porter advised, “Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now”. After all, Shakespeare wrote eight plays about the period. By the way, the winner was the House of Lancaster, the guys who wore the white rose, the reds were the House of York. After III no more Richards, after VIII no more Henrys, lots of Edwards and Georges, a few Queens and Charlies and, of course, the long-reigning Larry King.
However, as far as I can tell the only survivor of this medieval massacre was the actress Claire Bloom who played Richard’s girlfriend Lady Ann. She has lived long enough to play Queen Mary, the mother of George VI in the Oscar-nominated film “The King’s Speech”. Lesson over, back to Super Bowl XLV. Boy, you have to know your Roman numerals to study history.
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