We are one

That's what I heard the President say today in his address to the Naval Academy. It was an appropriate statement for Memorial Day and for all of us immigrants. I immigrated to the US twice: from Canada in 1964 and again from London in 1972. I became a citizen in 1992 joining what Fareed Zakaria calls "The Universal Nation", the only one that invites the rest of the world to become one of us. Going through the process always makes a good story. From the complete indifference of the IRS clerks right to the swearing in by the Federal Judge and waving the little flags they give out. At my citizenship party I gave out a quiz with two sections: What every American knows (no one knew which States were separated by the Mason-Dixon line* and a section called What every Canadian knows (when I asked who the leading NHL scorer was and hinted it was not Wayne Gretzky, everyone put down Wayne Gretzky)** I prefer being an American (it was good enough for the brother of Canada's Governor General)*** and besides who wants to live in a bilingual, socialist monarchy. In referring to Canada Theodore Roosevelt said, 'I want a nation, not a boarding house". It's the one and only nation for me.
* The Mason/Dixon line separates Pennsylvania and Maryland
** At the time it was still Gordie Howe
*** Raymond Massey was Vincent Massey's better known brother.

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved

In the Atlantic magazine there is an article profiling the lives of very advantaged young men. I mean they begin life advantaged and then life tosses them a lemon and they are divorced or drunk or life treats them to a cool lemonade and they stay married, sober and successful.
The conclusion of the article is sound. It says simply that Happiness is love. Can't argue with that. In fact I found this wisdom on a sign over the bar at The Arches in Newport Beach, Calif. It said, "The joy of life is living it". However, there is a sober reminder from Orwell that we must also acknowledge the hard facts of life, to wit, "You will be forgotten in one generation and in two no one will know you ever lived". Well, OK, maybe you need the Vulcan answer, "Live long and prosper". A character in Phillip Roth's "Everyman" says to Mr. Everyman (you never learn his name) "You're in your 70's so you've had a life". Something you can't say about James Dean or Heath Ledger. But hey, enough with the heavy philosophy. There is a nice cartoon in the May 11th, 2009 New Yorker that shows Dr. Frankenstein, Igor and the monster raising their wine glasses and toasting "To life".

Detroit must not be destroyed

I mean the cars that Detroit makes. If a woman can't walk past a window full of shoes then a man can't stay out of a car showroom. But what showroom? Hummer? Only if Rommel surrounds Palm Springs. Corvette? It is the fastest way to enlarge the penis non-surgically.
Dodge Polara, Chevy Agammemnon, Barracuda? None of the above. I mean the cars that Detroit is going to build starting today. GM destroyed the electric car and now it will destroy GM. But there's still Ford and La Dolce Dodge and the technology is now coming up to speed. When I worked on car advertising in Detroit I drove an old VW Bug and was told to park as far away from the agency as possible. Rightly so since everyone else was car crazy over Pontiacs and Cadillacs. I was told that when the head guy at GM died he wanted to come back as a V8 engine.

How to downsize and get more out of life.

Actually we've all been downsized already thanks to Wall Street, the banks, the SEC, and that lethal lamebrain W. However, there is a way you can deal with your own uncertain future that is certainly here. Let's start with where you live. Eliminate the 7 G's: No gate, No golf club, No garden, No guest rooms, No garage, No gas guzzler. Got it? Now add 5 E's for an easier life: Entertainment, Eating, Espresso, Excercize and eMail. We are now ruled by the ghost of George Sanders who looks cynically at rich and poor alike. Live fast, die young and leave a beautiful corpse isn't really a viable retirement plan for most. It's better to have dreams and no money than money and no dreams. Give me Gatsby over Donald Trump every time. OK you're going to lose some sq. footage in a smaller place but Kafka said you can only live in one room at a time--even if it's Versailles. What you won't give up is the pleasures you take for granted: a cold beer on a hot day, a good book, the 4th of July. The world is too much with us, getting and spending we lay waste our powers

When did the Orwellian age begin and when will it end?

For me it began with an illustrated article in Life magazine about 1949. It was introducing America and the world to 1984 and it showed Big Brother glowering at a mob of desperate souls marching around a monument with the watchwords: War is peace, Freedom is slavery, Ignorance is strength. I couldn't grasp at that early teenage time what Orwell was getting at since I was already enslaved by the sultry looks and voices of Peggy Lee and Doris Day. At first the only way to describe the Cold War was Orwellian, but as time went on it became the only way to describe the modern world. The MX missle was called the Peacemaker (War is Peace) Fox New (Ignorance is Strength) Wiretapping and waterboarding (Freedom is slavery). You'll see Orwell's name pop up over and over today with no end in sight. James Wood did a long profile on him in the April 13 issue of the New Yorker called "A fine rage". Of course Orwell wrote many other things that were not sinister including an essay on how to make a perfect cup of tea and his ideal British pub. The only other political genius of the 1950's era was Walt Kelly's cartoon character Pogo Possum. When Pogo went looking for evil in the swamps with his friends Winston Churchmouse, Waterhole Nehru and Mousy Tung they came upon themselves and Pogo uttered, "We has met the enemy and he is us".